my friend is getting married. the other day when all of us were sitting and discussing about the marriage, all of a sudden i realised that the marriage is not exactly about the couple who have finally decided to spend the rest of their lives together. its more about the extended family, relatives, friends and what is their role in the marriage and how everyone has suddenly a very important role to play. the marriage to me is almost a cause. attending a marriage is probably the most demanding and stressful task for a girl - (by the 'girl' i of course mean not the bride). selecting what to wear, which hair style to sport, which jewellery to match your outfit with is a heculean task. the planning starts almost one month in advance and when we are not even sure what is the date of the marriage. it always starts with the saree of course. that is almost the uniform for every wedding. suddenly i find myself leaving my friendly jeans and t shirt and donning the uncomfortable saree and pretending to be demure, innocent friend of the bride. here is a typical conversation:

bride(eyes round with excitement): so what r u wearing for my marriage.
the clueless friend: i dunno, probably a saree...
bride: ooohh!! what is the color of ur saree?
friend (smiles): black...with orange motifs..
bride (seriously): black how can u wear black?? its an inauspicious color... (accusingly adds) u wudnt wanna wear a black saree for MY wedding...
the friend almost has a panic attack by this time and thinking fast as to what be done and how the sudden dilemma can be solved. when another friend suggest "why dont u buy a saree?"

Then phase 2 of attending the marriage starts. typical scene in the saree shop.
friend 1: i am so confused...i like both..the blue with pink border and pink one with blue border...(by this time even the shopkeeper has lost interest)
friend2: i think u look good with the blue one but the pink is more for a wedding...
friend1: the blue is so adorable...
friend2: i know and u dont even look fat in this...but its too party type...

next stage is when u describe the saree to another friend and of course the very important blouse to go along with the saree.
friend1: so does ur saree look like.
friend2: its very pretty..
friend1: really.. what is the color?
friend2: pink...
friend1: which shade is it the baby pink or the pink rose kind of shade...
friend2: u remember the dupatta of that salwar i wore on so and so day...it had some pink flowers, its of the same color.
friend1 (having no clue quickly diverting): so whats the border like?
friend2:the border has copper sequins..
friendd1:how r the sequins arranged...(and it goes on...)

next is the blouse. how to stitch the blouse. its very suprising that for some strange reason all the tailors in the city r ruled out and labeled as not competetent enough to stitch the blouse of the 'oh so beautiful saree'
friend1: u know that guy is very good but am not sure if he will give it on time ...(a month left for the wedding)
friend2: i know a guy near my house he is quite good and delivers quickly also...
friend1: i am kind of fussy..u see this particular design is very unique...i cant trust everyone with that...
And the hunt for that desirable tailor starts which will make any treasure hunt look lame and easy. and trust me this is the predominant conversation for the next 3 weeks. additioanally the pressure of looking interested and participate with genuine enthusiasm in all the conversations is also huge. it does not end here. it goes on with the jewelerry, hair (whether to perm it or blow dry it or should i go for a haircut..) it just goes on...am sure the communist party is not giving the nuke deal so much of a thought than we are giving to my friends wedding...

without hurting any sentiments i shud actually thank my friend for actually obliging us and deciding to get married. so that i get a second chance to undo my pudding image...